The day after Rod leaves, Teyla has Sergeant Yates in a chokehold when he manages to get out, "That was weird, huh?"

"What do you mean?" she says, breathy when he breaks out and takes a swipe at her.

Yates is breathing hard as he puts his fists up, bouncing on the balls of his feet. "Oh, you know: having three Dr. McKays and two Dr. Rodney McKays."

"You have no idea," Teyla agrees, and barely pulls her punch when she flattens him.

A few second later, Yates is staring at the ceiling, winded and developing a black eye when he huffs out, "You know, Colonel Sheppard said you'd probably go on a date with me if I asked you and I figure since you've already pounded me here, you won't do it again." He lifts his head to look at her. "Right?"

Teyla turns a color red most frequently seen on Rodney and says, "Well -- I'm not going to pound on you."

"Score one for the home team," Yates croaks.

Later that night, Teyla goes to John's room where she finds him elaborately icing his many bruises.

"Stop acting like such a child, you are not hurt very badly," she sniffs, and lets herself in, sitting at his unused desk and glaring.

"I'll have you know I was stopped many times in the hallway and asked if I was in an abusive relationship," John tells her. "Which I told people I was."

Teyla decides to ignore him and says instead, "I am going on a date with Sergeant Yates."

"His name is Dan, you know," Sheppard tells her, gleeful and all his injuries suddenly forgotten.

It's taken about six hours but it's starting to settle uncomfortably in her mind that she has not been courting in almost a decade and that she has no idea what an Earth date entails. John once said he'd take her on one if they ever all went to visit Earth but then Rodney's face had gotten so pinched and jealous she'd declined in advance.

"What is a date?" she asks suddenly, frowning. "I have never been on one."

John stares. "I -- really?"

She stares impatiently. "What does one do on a date?" She touches her hair. "Are there special clothes?" John stares at her some more, and now he's biting his lip so hard Teyla can see that he's about to break skin. "John!" she snaps.

"Okay, okay," John says, voice still wobbling with laughter and his eyes are shining. "Well first," he says seriously, "we'll do something about your hair."

Teyla narrows her eyes. "Is this why Rodney calls you a queen?"

"Rodney shouldn't be calling anybody a queen," John says easily, runs a finger through her bangs speculatively.

"This took a very long time to grow out," Teyla says worriedly, watching John approach her with scissors.

John raises his eyebrows at her. "You don't trust me?" he asks.

Teyla is torn, and saved from having to say anything when Ronon walks into the room with one of John's golf clubs. He leans it against the wall and surveying the scene, purses his lips and sits down on John's bed, saying, "Are we cutting Teyla's hair?"

"She's going on a date," John answers, and returns to meditating, pair of scissors in hand.

"With Yates?" Ronon asks, and Teyla's scowl deepens, he says, "That's a yes."

"I told her most people go to dinner on a date," John says, distracted. He glances up at Ronon. "What did you do on Sateda?"

"I wasn't allowed to date," Ronon says honestly.

Teyla blinks. "Was it a law of your military?"

Ronon flushes. "No," he muttered. "My mother."

"Oh, Jesus," John mutters. "We'll stop this line of conversation right here."

John trims her hair with only one interruption -- "Can I braid her hair?" Ronon asks; "No," John and Teyla say together -- and then he brushes it out and puts something he calls "mousse" into it after he swears her to secrecy about his having it. "Is it an illegal substance on your world?" she asks importantly. "Yes," John tells her seriously. "Yes it is."

It feels lighter and softer and she can't help but feel prettier, but she draws the line at Ronon offering to dress her. Not for the first time, she wishes there was at least one other woman on her team. Then she frowns and says, "John, Rodney does not count."

Teyla feels stupid the entire time she picks through her clothes, which she realizes with a sudden burst of irritation are all hideous and loathsome, but she's saved from having to wear them when a knock at the door of her quarters reveals Elizabeth and Lieutenant Cadman, both wearing matching smiles and carrying hangers full of clothes. "Oh, thank the Ancients," she says, and lets them in.

"I feel like such a fool," Teyla admits, trying on the 18th shirt offered up. "I am far too old for being this silly."

"Everyone should be a little silly about these sorts of things," Elizabeth says philosophically, smiling.

Lieutenant Cadman just smirks. "Oh, don't even worry about it. Yates has got half a battalion of marines in his room helping him do his hair." Teyla stares at her in wonder. "No joke. Swear on Colonel Sheppard's favorite jumper."

Teyla puts her face in her hands. "I am so humiliated."

"Oh, Teyla," Elizabeth soothes. "Everybody's just happy for you."

"Everyone should try to be happy for Ronon," Teyla says suddenly. "His mother never allowed him to date."

"Oh my God," Cadman says immediately, eyes huge. "That is the best thing I have ever heard in my whole entire life."

John told her that on a normal Earth date, the man -- "A gentleman," John said -- would pick up the woman -- "A lady," John explained; "Hot piece of ass," Ronon muttered; "Ronon!" Teyla and John had both snapped -- and they would share dinner or drinks together and talk.

"About what?" Teyla had asked, mystified and nervous.

"If you ever figure that out, please let me know," John tells her.

She slaps his hands away from her hair. "You are of no help at all!" she says, annoyed, which is exactly when Dr. McKay wanders into the room, humming and red-cheeked, entirely too pleased with himself and says:

"You look very nice, Teyla."

Teyla considers throwing herself out of one of the windows. "Does everyone know?" she demands to Ronon, who the marines have turned into the worst gossip she has ever known -- even compared to the horrible 14-year-old Athosian girls who all intend to grow up and marry John.

"Oh, breathe," Rodney says, rolling his eyes (but kindly), "Sheppard and I have already dismantled the betting pool. No need to get so persnickety about common knowledge now." Rodney fumbles around in one of his pockets for a moment until he pulls something shiny out and presents it to Teyla proudly. "Here -- I made Miko make it with some old pieces of console."

Teyla takes it into her hand and finds it is a necklace, with three diamond-shaped pieces of luminous Atlantean crystal knotted at the end.

She's never owned jewelry like this before, always laid away the beautiful deep red and gold beads her mother once wore until ceremonies and rituals, the state functions of her role as the leader of her people. When she closes her hand around it, she looks back up at Rodney's beaming face, John's sideways smile, Ronon's dusky grin and she says, "Thank you," because they're the only words that she can get out of her suddenly-tight throat.

Sergeant Yates shows up -- right on time -- at 7:30 p.m. to pick her up for a picinic on the South Pier and he looks very handsome, even if his hair looks a little overly excited and his face is very red.

"Good evening," she says, hearing her voice crack a little.

"Hi," he says, and he's more high-pitched than even she is. His eyes are very wide. "I -- you look great."

She smiles and stepping into the hallway, she sees just the barest trace of Ronon and Rodney and John standing painfully casually around the corner, staring intently at one of the bubbling columns. She decides to forgive them, just this once, for being very dumb 12-year-old boys.

"Thank you, Dan," she says, and watches him flush with pleasure. "It was a group effort."